Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I Am Weak - He Is Strong

Throughout the journey of adopting Dima I have heard many people tell me how strong Eric and I are or how wonderful we are for opening our home to a special needs child.  While those are nice things for people to say, they are wrong.  Eric and I are weak and helpless.  This adoption could never take place if it were in our own strength and it would probably never even happen, period!  Day after day we have to fully rely on God's love and grace to get us through each task.  For those of you that have never gone through this process, I just want to be transparent for a moment and say that this is not for the faint of heart.  There are moments where I have found myself absolutely dissolved into tears over a single piece of paper.  I get shaken out of it, however, when I resolve to let God handle it.  As I sit there in a heap crying like a 2 year old, it is as though I look up at my Heavenly Father with my arms outreached to Him.  I want Him to pick me up and do this for me.  In my own strength I cannot do it.  I cannot make things happen as I want them to.  Time and time again my Heavenly Father reaches down with a loving smile, picks me up, calms my spirit, and carries me a little bit farther along.  So no, I am not some super strong woman made of steel.  I am more like Silly Putty.  Really pathetic Silly Putty!

As for the we're "so wonderful for opening our home up to a special needs child"?  Well, not really.  Eric and I are only doing what God asked us to do.  It is really no different than doing anything else that God asks us to do.  To Eric and I this only seems logical- normal, actually.  Why NOT adopt a child with special needs?!  Isn't that just showing the love of Christ to someone?  Isn't that something that Jesus would encourage us all to do?  To love the least of these?  And I assure you that even after our sweet Dima gets home we will have moments where we feel utterly overwhelmed and second guess ourselves.  But I also know that time and time again my Heavenly Father will give us the grace that is sufficient to ride out the bumps of the adjustment and all will be well.

So all glory to God in this process.  Without Him we are nothing.  With Him we can do everything!

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13


Joy for the Seasons said...

Well said!

Aislinn said...

Love, love, love this!! I completely agree :)
We have gone through exactly what you described.....
We are resting in Him, thankful for His grace and strength each and every moment, without which we are a complete mess!!!

Rochelle said...

Beautifully stated. I am laughing b/c my post on Wednesday was titled "adoption is easy isn't it?" LOL
Thankful you are following God's plan!