Monday, June 20, 2011

What If?

We have had some more updates regarding our situation since yesterday morning.  While the information we received is still not 100% concrete, we were basically told to not be surprised if we had to wait through the closure.  It was not the information I wanted to hear.  It felt as though I was being punched in the stomach all over again.  Since I received that email as we were leaving for church I had a tough time sitting through Sunday School and church without tearing up.  At one point I did have to go into the ladies room for a good cry.

But I had a choice to make.  I could choose to wallow in self-pity and cry because it's not fair or I can choose to allow God to glorify Himself through this situation.  After some quiet time yesterday afternoon I can say that I am choosing to allow God to glorify Himself.  Who am I to dictate to the Creator of the universe how He should lay out His plans?  How do I know that for some reason this is a blessing in disguise?  There are also some positives to not traveling in just a week or so, too.  If we wait through the closure I will be here for Elijah's 7th birthday, Eric and I will be able to spend good, quality time with the boys through the rest of the summer, Eric can concentrate on getting through the summer with his work at church (summer is the craziest time for him with VBS and camp), we get to enjoy a few more game nights with our friends, our airfare will be significantly cheaper (a huge plus!), and we have a little more time to raise the rest of the money that we need to even finish this adoption.  All good and positive things to enjoy over the coming months.

I am not going to lie, however, and still admit that I have a sliver of hope that somehow we are able to get to Dima before the closure.  There are also a few incidents that have happened in the recent weeks that I cannot shake.  For instance, Eric and I felt an urgency with getting our Dossier over to Dima's country.  We kind of jumped the gun a little on getting it over there.  God gave us that urgency.  Could it be because He knew that there was a chance of us still getting over there in time?  Our fingerprinting was the same way.  Our actual appointments were not until June 7th but we walked in on May 17th without any issue.  And a mere one week went by and we had been assigned an Immigration Officer.  That is unheard of!  Most people had been waiting for weeks (some more than one month!).  By June 2nd we had our approval, just 9 days after being assigned an Officer!  Again, lightning speed.  We can only hope, though, right?

Regardless, I trust my Lord.  He has Dima in His hands and loves Dima so much more than Eric and I.  I trust that He has this all planned out, we just need to wait and listen.  A friend jokingly told me this past week that God loves drama- no kidding!  Regardless of how this all plays out Eric and I will be pleasantly surprised and know that when we get the call to book tickets to Dima's country it will be a short notice.  I also think it is safe to say that we will have an amazing adventure to our son no matter how soon we get there.

Please pray for our family and Dima as we walk this uncertain path.  Please pray for Dima's health, safety, happiness, and that he remains in the orphanage until we can get to him.  Please pray that Eric and I would have calm hearts and unwavering trust in our Lord.

In the meantime I have had this song stuck in my head since yesterday afternoon.  It was shared with me by my friend, Lindy, back when we first caught wind of the closure.  I confess that I only listened to the song once and then forgot about it.  Then yesterday afternoon as I was driving home from the grocery store I actually really listened to the song for the first time;  I mean really listened.  It spoke right to my heart.  I hope that it blesses you, too.


Rochelle said...

Praying for you guys. God's timing is perfect we all know that but, it still hurts our hearts when we want something so bad and we have to wait. Praying that you get an SDA appt before the shut down!

Carla Dobs said...

We are 11 days behind you...our dossier arrived today...

We also choose to wait on God's will and see what he has planned for our family and our sweet little henry...