Friday, September 23, 2011

Our New Normal/Fatherless Friday

This past week I focused on trying to figure out our new normal.  The only thing I concluded is that it can not be figured out in a week!  So it will take a few weeks to really figure things out in terms of schedules and routines.

What I am learning is that Dima fits well into our family.  He seems to be adjusting very well and is very happy to be here.  The only problems or bumps have been his leaving the house and he and Sammy fussing at each other.  Thankfully, however, it seems as though both issues are getting resolved and I am surprised at how quickly Dima adjusts.

Dima is also having to re-bond with Eric.  While many could see this as a bump in the road, I see this as perfectly normal for Dima.  Think about it.  He only spent one week with Eric and only 4 hours a day when we would visit the orphanage.  He really does not know Eric.  Dima was also rarely ever around men.  When he was with his "birth mother" he also lived with his grandmother and great grandmother, all of whom neglected him.  At the orphanage it was all women, too, so grown men are alien to him.  But if any man could handle this delicate process, Eric is the man for the job.  He is patient and tender towards Dima which helps Dima trust him.  But when Dima wants to wrestle, Eric steps up to the plate!  I look forward to watching those two become close and I marvel and fall in love with Eric each time I watch those two interact.

So how are the other boys doing?  Very well.  I am especially proud of Jeremiah who is extremely kind and patient with Dima.  Jeremiah was the uncertain one as we went through the adoption process and now he is the most enthused.  Elijah is also doing very well but I am not all that surprised.  He has such a tender heart and a huge capacity to show compassion.  Elijah will, however, tell us when he needs to just not be near Dima and that is very healthy and mature of Elijah.  Sammy?  Well, poor Sammy is learning how to be a "big" brother.  Sammy has been the baby for 5 years and now here comes this kid who likes to have his way.  Dima and Sammy will bicker and fuss at each other to the point I've put them in time out.  But yesterday seemed to be a turning point for them.  Eric and I had a chat with Sammy and talked with him about being patient and kind.  Amazingly that seemed to help.  Dima and Sammy are getting along once again and I will remain hopeful.  To help we also changed sleeping arrangements.  Dima and Sammy were sharing a room and we realized that was maybe not a good idea.  So now Jeremiah and Sammy are in Sammy's room and Elijah and Dima are in what was Jeremiah and Elijah's room.  Hopefully this will be temporary for Jeremiah and Elijah's sake, but I am grateful how willing they were to help out in this manner.

Finally, we got some excellent news from the pediatrician yesterday afternoon.  Dima is parasite and cootie free!  What a HUGE relief as I was beginning to go crazy with sterilizing the toilet and tub after each time Dima used them.  We were flying through bleach and Lysol!  We are now patiently (er, not so much) waiting for Dima's insurance card to arrive so we can begin getting his body all fixed up.  He needs his hernia surgery and a trip to the genetics team up at Shands.  This will also be how we find out wether or not Dima has Mosaic Down Syndrome or not.

It is hard to believe that just 2 weeks ago I was in the Ukraine.....it all seems like a dream now...

Today I am thinking of those I had to leave behind....the fatherless.  Dima is thinking of his buddy, Kolya.  Will you please pray for Kolya today?

1 comment:

Laura said...

I am already considering the ones we will have to leave behind. :-( It's amazing how much you start to love these guys!